


Welcome to Chan's Kitchen

by Sub_Energy



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Banter, Bc it's Minho come on, CHAN NEEDS SLEEP, Cute Kids, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Thinks They're Together, Funny bs tbh, Hijinks & Shenanigans, How Do I Tag, I Write These at 3AM, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I think I'm funny sometimes, Just cute boyfriends, M/M, Memes, Mentioned Stray Kids Ensemble, No sex though bc minors but lots of fluff, Platonic Relationships, Poly SKZ, Sexual Humor, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-08-04 00:43:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16336496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sub_Energy/pseuds/Sub_Energy
Summary: Stray Kids? More like MEME KidsThe group chat fic everyone's always wanted filled with the mindless banter of 2018's best rookie group.





	1. Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death

**Author's Note:**

> I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk. *Shinee's back*  
> Ok so since a lot of people liked my BTS Textfic and I enjoyed writing it so much I'm writing a new one but with Stray Kids bc I love them.  
> Lemme just clarify b4 people get their panties in a bunch: Everyone are lowkey boyfriends with each other but mainly in a platonic way. THERE'S NO SEX SO PLZ DON'T COME @ ME FOR SEXUALIZING MINORS BC I'M NOT, all I'm gonna really mention is them holding hands and cute uwu stuff like kissing each other's noses and shit. I mentioned sexual humor bc we've got MinHOE up in this bitch. Those comments will be directed at the hyung line though so calm yo selves (I can literally feel the keyboard warriors breathing down my neck lol)
> 
> Anyways, I've really been craving writing a new fic, especially since I'm currently working on one MASSIVE one-shot that I'm hoping to complete and post by mid November. This is basically so I can fling my memes to y'all and distress and stuff. Yep.
> 
> I hope you guys find this fic funny ;; I have bad humor whoops. You should be able to figure out who's who based on their usernames. However, usernames can and will change depending on the chapter or scene etc. 
> 
> Please enjoy and leave me comments, they feed my dying soul ;-; (I'm an emo college student plz give me attention)

 

_~ **Captain** , **YOHHHHH,** and **Squirrel Son** joined the chat~ (2:34am) _

 

 **Squirrel Son** : Channie-Hyung

 **Squirrel Son** : Why are you still awake

 

 **YOHHHHH** : Lol it’s like 3am

 

 **Captain** : wHy ArE yOu AwAkE?

 **Captain** : I can’t sleep

 

 **Squirrel Son** : INSOMINA~

 

 **YOHHHHH** : did you actually just

 

 **Captain** : -_-

 

 **Squirrel Son** : Yup

 **Squirrel Son** : I saw the opportunity and I took it

 **Squirrel Son** : Got’em

 

_~ **Bby Maknae** joined the chat~ (2:37am) _

 

 **Captain** : Jeongin

 **Captain** : Perfect timing

 

 **Bby Maknae** : ?

 

 **Squirrel Son** : Jeongin go the fuck to sleep you fetus

 **Squirrel Son** : You have school in the morning

 

 **Bby Maknae** : r00d

 

 **Captain** : Can you plz get your favorite Hyung some coffee

 **Captain** : Iced caramel macchiato tysm

 

 **Bby Maknae** : Jisung-hyung just told me to go to sleep but ok

 

 **Captain** : <3

 

 **YOHHHHH** : You do realize that shit is gonna make you feel like absolute ass bc of how late at night it is right?

 

 **Captain** : Changbin you uncultured swine

 **Captain** : Good bean juice taste like chocolate n make me go fast

 

 **Squirrel Son** : ...what?

 **Squirrel Son** : I’m going to delete myself bye 

 

_~ **Squirrel Son** has left the chat~ (2:45am) _

_~ **Jjix** has joined the chat~ (2:47am) _

 

 **Jjix:** Hi Guys

 **Jjix:** I hate my life and I don’t wanna live so I’m gonna stick a fork in an electric socket

 **Jjix** : Just thought you should know

 

 **YOHHHHH** : What tf is happening 

 

 **Captain:** ??? y u do this

 

 **Jjix:** I just started playing Overwatch and accidently walked off a cliff

 

 **Bby Maknae:**  

 

 **Captain:** Me too if Jeongin doesn’t hurry up with MY FUCKING COFFEE

 

 **YOHHHHH:** For real though why are you up so late 

 

 **Captain** : Well

 **Captain** : I’m composing some songs for us

 

 **Bby Maknae** : We haven’t even unveiled I Am You yet hyung

 

 **YOHHHH** : Just-

 **YOHHHH** : I have no words aside from that you need to get some sleep

 

 **Captain** : Sleep is for the weak

 **Captain** : Out of the way, mortals, your king is making some magic up in this studio

 

 **YOHHHHH** : You should use some of the songs you already have on your laptop

 **YOHHHHH** : All the STAYs on Twitter figures out you’ve had some of the ones on your laptop since our survival show

 

 **Bby Maknae** : Damn, they’re sharp

 

 **Captain** : LANGUAGE

 **Captain** :  ty Jeongin

 

 **Jjix:** Can I have a sip

 **Jjix:** plz

 

 **Captain:** No

 

 **Jjix:** I wuv u plz

 **Jjix:** Come on mate I want some caramel goodness

 

 **Captain:** Fine, come to the studio

 

 **Jjix:** !!! Omw 

 

 **Bby Maknae:** Hyung you didn’t let me have a sip even though I got it for you ;;

 **Bby Maknae:** The favoritism is real

 

 **Captain:** Nah, I just have a soft spot for my Aussie bro 

 

 **Jjix:** Best mates 4 life

 

 **Bby Maknae:** That’s ok bc I took a nice big succ before I gave it to you anyway

 

 **Captain:** ...

 **Captain:** wot

 

 **Jjix:** SNAKEEEEEEE

 

_~ **Jjix** changed **Bby Maknae’s** name to **SNAKE** ~ (3:17am) _

 

 **Snake:** -_-

 

 **Captain:** How could u

 **Captain:** I trusted u  and u broke the bro code

 

 **YOHHHHH:** Lmao

 

 **Captain:** Felix is actually my favorite now 

 

 **Jjix:** <3 ily

 

 **Snake:** OAO

 **Snake:** Nuh huh

 

 **Captain:** G'night to non snakes ONLY

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Hot Cheetos Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC: Snitches get stichesssss  
> MC: I ain’t talkin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye I'm back with another chapter because I have no self control and I've already written two additional chapters instead of doing hw ahahaha. Everyone makes an appearance in this chapter so I hope you enjoy! Some of this chapter was lowkey inspired by shit that goes on with my volleyball team lolz. 
> 
> I forgot to mention it last time but please come holler at me on twitter! My username's @callmebaekkk so feel free to DM me because I love chatting with you guys~ Who knows, I might even post a spoiler or two for next chapter
> 
> On another note: WHAT'D YALL THINK OF THE I AM YOU MV BC I'M FUCKIN SHOOK. TIME TO GO DIE IN A HOLE NOW BC OF MY EMPTY ASS WALLET AHAHAHAH
> 
> Happy reading! Leave a kudos or comment plz it rejuvenates my soul

_ ~ **Vocal King** and **MinHOE** entered the chat~ (1:00pm) _

 

**Vocal King** : Attention

**Vocal King** : This is a PSA

 

_ ~ **Bby Maknae** , **Jjix** , **YOHHHH,** **Squirrel Son** , and **MC** entered the chat~ (1:02pm) _

 

**Jjix** : Wassuh dude

 

**MC** : Oooooooh no honorific

 

**Jjix** : Oops

**Jjix** : Wassuh hyung*

 

**MinHOE** : Which one of you fucking RATS left hot Cheetos dust all over the couch

 

**Bby Maknae** : You spilled lipstick in my white Valentino bag?!?!

 

**MC** : LMAOOOOO

 

**MinHOE** : Stfu before I come over there and hit you

**MinHOE** : One of you nasty asses got Cheetos dust got all over my new Supreme shirt 

**MinHOE** : I’m L I V I D

 

**Vocal King** : He's actually really mad

**Vocal King** : I hate Cheetos so y'all know it wasn't me

 

**MinHOE** : I LEGIT JUST BOUGHT THAT SHIRT YESTERDAY 

**MinHOE** : THE SHIRT WAS WHITE AND NOW IT'S ALL ORANGE

 

**YOHHHHH** : All I’m gonna say is it wasn’t me

**YOHHHHH** : But it was def someone in this group chat

 

**MinHOE** : No shit, Sherlock, but WHO?

 

**Jjix** : Me, bitch

**Jjix** : Lol jk

 

_ ~ **Jjix** has left the chat~ _

 

**Bby Maknae** : Omfg Minho-Hyung literally just launched Felix off his lap and to the ground like a rag doll

 

**YOHHHHH** : Why are they texting if they’re sitting right next to one another?

 

**Bby Maknae** : I mean, I’m sitting right across from them

 

**MC** : I’m mildly concerned that you’re completely ignoring Felix’s well-being, Hyung. Minho-Hyung is terrifying

 

**Bby Maknae** : He barricaded the bathroom door and trapped me inside once because I used his face wash 

 

**YOHHHHH** : ...

**YOHHHHH** : This generation sickens me

 

_ ~ **Prince** joined the chat~ (1:12pm) _

 

**Prince** : Hey Guys, what’d I miss?

 

**Bby Maknae** : Scroll up, hyung

 

**YOHHHH** : ^^^

 

**MinHOE** : Ok 

**MinHOE** : Now that I just did us all a favor and put Felix out of his misery, let’s get back to this discussion 

 

**Bby Maknae** : OAO

 

**MinHOE** : Hyunjin, have you seen anyone eating hot Cheetos either last night or today?

 

**Prince** : I know I saw Seungmin buy some from the convenience store, but I’m pretty sure he said he was getting them for someone as a surprise

 

**MinHOE** : SEUNGMIN

**MinHOE** : HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE MENTIONED THIS IMPORTANT INFORMATION 

**MinHOE** : WHO DID YOU BUY THEM FOR

 

**MC** : Snitches get stichesssss

**MC** : I ain’t talkin

 

**YOHHHHH** : Hold up a second

**YOHHHHH** : Why does Jisung keep reading all these messages but isn’t replying?

 

**Bby Maknae** : Omfg

 

**MinHOE** : I WANT ANSWERS

 

**Squirrel Son** : Um

**Squirrel Son** : I suddenly don’t know how to read

 

**MinHOE** : IT WAS YOU

**MinHOE** : [](https://images.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjgzZe3p5reAhVJA6wKHbUoBSoQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Faminoapps.com%2Fc%2Fhan-jisung%2Fpage%2Fshared_folder%2Fmemes%2F3WYl_B2hDqF07GkZe12XLjm34Ld3R3X0k45&psig=AOvVaw02QQbpcDZDQFwiIW2oFiqz&ust=1540306616021226)

 

** Squirrel Son:  ** cUrSeD iMaGe

** Squirrel Son: ** WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT

 

** Prince:  ** LMFAO

 

** Vocal King: ** I'm wheezingggggggg

 

**MinHOE** : 6 SCREENSHOTS AND I'LL POST IT ON IG

 

_ ~ **Prince, MC, Vocal King,** and  **Bby Maknae** took a screenshot~ (1:21pm) _

 

** Squirrel Son:  ** OMG PLEASE NO

**Squirrel Son** : I’m sorry hyung ;;

**Squirrel Son** : I accidentally dropped the bag on the floor when I was getting up to go take a shit but I HAD TO SO BAD and then I forgot about the spill

 

**MC** : My poop is cominggggg

 

**Prince** : Lmao

**Prince** : No more dead vines plz

 

** Bby Maknae:  ** Aww, hyung, maybe you should have mercy?

 

**MinHOE** :  Gdi Jisung

**MinHOE** : No cuddles for you later

 

_ ~ **Captain** joined the chat~ (1:23pm) _

 

** Captain:  ** Cuddles?

** Captain: ** I've been summoned

 

**Squirrel Son** : omg no Hyung I’m sorry plz forgive me

**Squirrel Son** : I’ll wash ur shirt for you and if I can’t get the stains out I’ll buy you a new one 

**Squirrel Son** : Just please don’t take away our Disney movie cuddle marathon

 

**MinHOE** : ...

**MinHOE** : Fine but only because I love you, brat

 

**Squirrel Son** : <3 ilysm 

 

**Prince** : WOW that’s really gay

 

**MC** : Stfu stop pretending you’re straight when you make out with me on the daily

**MC** : Correction: You make out with all of us on the daily 

 

**Prince** : I know lol <3

**Prince** : I love you all

 

**YOHHHHH** : Stop with all this sappy shit

**YOHHHHH** : It’s making my stone cold heart ache

 

**Squirrel Son** : Awww, is Changbinnie Hyung jealous?

 

**YOHHHHH** : In your dreams, I hate all of you wack ass hoes

 

**MinHOE** : Damn, will you ever stop being a sarcastic bitch?

 

**YOHHHHH** : Find out next week on “I think the fuck not”

 

**Captain** : Mandatory cuddle sesh in the living room in 10 mins

 

**MinHOE** : After Jisung cleans the couch and washes my shirt

**MinHOE** : RAT

 

**Squirrel Son** : ily ;-;

 

**MC:** Btw did anyone find out where Felix is?

 

**Vocal King** : Lol he's fuckin dead

**Vocal King** : Minho killed him

 

**Bby Maknae** : At least I won't have to share my sausages with him now! XD

 

**Captain** : S A V A G E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please come holler at me on twitter! My username's @callmebaekkk so feel free to DM me because I love chatting with you guys~ Who knows, I might even post a spoiler or two for next chapter
> 
> LMK what y'all thought of this in the comments~
> 
> Until next time XD


	3. SHIA LABEOUF IS THE 10TH MEMBER OF STRAY KIDS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jjix: Did you embarrass yourself in front of Day6 again?
> 
> Jjix: You did, didn’t you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's bacccccccccccccckkkkkkk

 

_~ **MC** , **Prince, Jjix,** and **Squirrel Son** joined the chat~ (1:15pm)_

 

**MC:** I just thought of something and it’s been bothering me all day

 **MC:** I can’t stop thinking about it

 

 

 **Prince:**???

 

 

 **Squirrel Son:** Omg what’s wrong? Are you ok?

 

 

 **Jjix:** Did you embarrass yourself in front of Day6 again?

 **Jjix:**  You did, didn’t you

 

 

 **MC:** Surprisingly enough, no

 **MC:** I was just thinking about life and stuff

 **MC:** Do you ever wonder if the ocean is salty because the land never waves back?

 

 

 **Prince:** I’m-

 

 

 **Jjix:** Seungmin

 **Jjix:** What the actual fuck

 

 

 **Squirrel Son:** I want what he’s having ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 

 **MC:** The funny thing is I’m high on life, my brother

 **MC:** Woke up this morning and had a nice long whiff of oxygen

 

 

 **Prince:** Aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyways

 **Prince: 3**  days until Halloween

 **Prince:** Chan said we’re gonna binge watch some American Halloween movies tonight

 

 

 **Squirrel Son:** Yessssss bring on the fluffy blankets and cuddle piles <3

 

 

 **Jjix:**!!!

 **Jjix:** HALLOWEEN-TOWN IS MY FUCKING SHIT

 

 

 **Squirrel Son:** I think I might’ve seen a small portion of it in Malaysia once?

 

 

 **Jjix:** TIME FOR SPOOKS

 

 

 **MC:** Can it just be Christmas already?

 **MC:** I wanna release our Season’s Greetings to STAY all around the world

 

 

 **Jjix:** Omfg

 **Jjix:** Did you actually just disrespect the greatest holiday, Halloween?!

 

 

 **MC:** I like Halloween, I just like Christmas better

 

 

 **Jjix:** There will be no disrespect of the best holiday in this gc

 

 

~ **Jjix** removed **MC** from the chat~ (1:53pm)

 

 

 **Jjix:** Bye

 

 

 **Squirrel Son:** Hey Felix

 **Squirrel Son:** We should make a cover of Spooky Scary Skeletons

 

 

 **Jjix:** OMFG YES YOU’RE A GENIUS

 

 

 **Prince:** Bros

 **Prince:** Should I choreograph that shit?

 

 

 **Squirrel Son:** y E s

 **Squirrel Son:** JUST DO IT

 

 

 **Jjix:** DON’T LET YOUR MEMES BE DREAMS

 **Jjix:** JUST DO ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

 

 **Squirrel Son:** Yesterday you said tomorrow...

 **Squirrel Son:** So JUST DO ITTTTT

 

 

 **Prince:** This isn’t 2010 stfu u uglys

 

 

**Jjix:**

 

 

 **Squirrel Son:** I’M OFFENDED

 

 

 **Prince:** Felix, please kindly delete yourself thx

 

 

 **Jjix:** Hey guess what Jisung-hyung

 **Jjix:** No one cares

 

 

 **Prince:** LMAO ROASTEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

 

 

 **Squirrel Son:** WOW

 **Squirrel Son:** FUCK YOU, FELIX

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd y'all think? I hope this chapter made u laugh. Writing some maknae line hijinks was entertaining lmao. (Yes I know Jeongin wasn't in this chap but our bby has to go to school sometimes, ya know?)
> 
> Come holler @ me on twitter: @callmebaekkk


	4. Mocktails and Drugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vocal King: Pweaseeeeeeeeee? I'll make Minho drive you to school
> 
>  
> 
> Bby Maknae: ...
> 
> Bby Maknae: maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW it's been a while but, hey, I'm back.  
> On another note... STRAY KIDS UNVEIL IN THE US, GUESS WHO'S GOING? THIS BITCH. I can't wait to see the boys live again ahhhhh~  
> I came up with this chapter while I was tipsy and sleep deprived so enjoy
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE:  
> This is a work of fiction and anything I write about the boys regarding alcohol, drugs, relationships, etc IS NOT TRUE and is the work of me having funny ideas/headcanons/fantasized pairs and putting them into writing. I do not condone drug use nor do I desire the boys to use them.

__  
  


_~_ **_Captain_ ** _joined the chat (4:31am)~_

 

 

 **Captain:**  G U Y S

 **Captain:** I FINISHED ARRANGING OUR NEW ALBUM HOLY SHIT

 **Captain:** HYUNG LINE WAKE UP LET'S GO PARTY

 

 

_~_ **_Captain_ ** _left the chat (4:32am)~_

 

 

_~_ **_YOHHHHH_ ** _joined the chat (6:27am)`_

 

 

 **YOHHHHH:**  I have the worst fucking headache ever

 **YOHHHHH:** Someone please put a bullet in my skull and end my suffering

 

 

_~_ **_MinHOE,_ ** **_Bby Maknae_ ** _, and_ **_Vocal King_ ** _joined the chat (6:32am)~_

 

 

 **MinHOE:** Binnie, you went out drinking with Chan last night didn't you?

 

 

 **Vocal King** : Nah, he didn't. Only I did

 **Vocal King** : Wait a sec, Jeongin, why are you even awake right now?

 

 

 **Bby Maknae** : school ;-;

 

 

 **Vocal King** : Jeongin, can you be a doll and bring your favorite hyung some aspirin?

 

 

 **Bby Maknae** ; no u

 

 

 **YOHHHHH** : That

 **YOHHHHH:** Didn't even make any sense?

 

 

 **Vocal King** : Pweaseeeeeeeeee? I'll make Minho drive you to school

 

 

 **Bby Maknae** : ...

 **Bby Maknae** : maybe

 **Bby Maknae** : ...ok

 

 

 **MinHOE** : HYUNG YOU TRAITOR

 

 

 **Vocal King** : whoops

 

 

 **YOHHHHH** : Anywayssssss

 **YOHHHHH** : I was working on our new album all night with Chan-hyung so I might've snorted some adderall to get in the zone

 

 

 **MinHOE:** That is the NASTIEST THING

 

 

 **YOHHHHH:** Except it didn't work

**Bby Maknae** : What do you mean it didn't work?

 

 

 **Vocal King** : Why is everyone ignoring the fact that Changbin did drugs? Am I the only sane one among our group?

 **Vocal King** : Oh wait, I am

 

 

 **YOHHHHH** : I couldn't come up with any sick beats

 **YOHHHHH** : All I could remember was my Club Penguin password that I forgot 7 years ago

 

 

 **Vocal King** : What-

 

 

 **BbyMaknae** : wtf

 

 

 **MinHOE** : Did you just

 **MinHOE** : swear

 **MinHOE** : IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER?!

 

 **Bby Maknae** : No hyung I said wtf

 

 

 **MinHOE** : !!!!

 

 

_~ **MinHOE** has removed **Bby Maknae** from the chat (6:50am)~_

 

 

 **MinHOE** : Blocked, reported, deleted. Thank you, next

 

 

 **YOHHHHH** : Pretty sure Felix told him wtf meant “why the funniness?” as a joke yesterday

 

 

 **MinHOE** : too late

 

 

 **Vocal King** : yikes

 

 

 **YOHHHHH** : So what am I supposed to do with the 7 year old password?

 

 

 **Vocal King** : God has left us all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd y'all think? This is why college is another form of hell because this is what I come up with. As I'm uploading this, I'm sitting at my job instead of doing homework during my break. Send help y'all, I'm too far gone.
> 
> HMU on Twitter! uwu @callmebaekkk
> 
> See u next time xx


	5. I AM: FLU SEASON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jjix: Why are you at the studio if you have a cold?!
> 
>  
> 
> Captain: wHy ArE yOu At ThE sTuDiO iF yOu HaVe A cOlD?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYE SUP KIDS I'M BACK
> 
> WHAT'D Y'ALL THINK OF THE NEW ALBUM AND WHAT'S YOUR FAVE SONG? MINE IS CHRONOSAURUS
> 
> Also happy 1 year with Stray Kids!!!!

 

 

_~Captain, YOHHHH, Prince, Jjix, and MinHOE joined the chat~ (10:00am)_

 

 

 **Captain** : G’day mates I have a very important question

 

 

 **YOHHHH** : Woojin-hyung’s half dead in the laundry room in a pile of clothing

 **YOHHHH** : Idk if it’s clean or not

 

 

 **Prince** : I-

 

 

 **MinHOE** : Wtf why

 

 

 **YOHHHH** : I think he has a fever? His eyes are glazed and he’s sweaty

 

 

 **Captain** : I don’t even wanna know

 **Captain:** Anyways

 **Captain** : WHICH ONE OF YALL UGLIES GAVE ME THE FLU

 

 

 **Prince** : ??? None of us have been sick?

 

 

 **Captain** : I’M IN THE STUDIO SWADDLED IN LIKE 3 BLANKETS WITH THE HEAT ALL THE WAY UP IN THE STUDIO AND I'M STILL COLD

 

 **Jjix** : BRO

 **Jjix** : Why are you at the studio if you have a cold?!

 

 

 **Captain** : wHy ArE yOu At ThE sTuDiO iF yOu HaVe A cOlD? 

 **Captain** : Our music doesn’t produce itself

 

 

 **Prince** : Hyung

 **Prince** : Please come back to the dorm and get some rest

 

 

 **YOHHHH** : You need sleep

 

 

 **MinHOE** : NO WTF HE’S GOTTA BE QUARANTINED

 **MinHOE** : STAY AWAAAAYYYYYY

 **MinHOE** : HE’LL GET US ALL SICK

 

 

 **Jjix:** Guys I think I just passed out for a second

 

 

 **Prince:**????? explain

 

 

 **Jjix:** Idk, I was just standing up and all of a sudden I was on the floor and I couldn’t breathe

 **Jjix:** Oh wait fuck

 

 

_~ **Jjix** has left the chat~ (10:10am)_

 

 

 **YOHHHH** : Ummmmm

 **YOHHHH** : Jisung just got out of bed and is currently puking his guts out in the bathroom

 

 

 **Prince:** Wtf, no one better expect me to clean it because I'll throw up too

 

 **MinHOE:** Y'all need some EmergenC

 **MinHOE:** Also Felix is also vomiting now

 

 

 **YOHHHH** : I’m just gonna...leave...and let someone else handle it. Yup.

 

 

 **Prince** : You little shit, don’t you dare leave me to deal with this

 

 

_- **YOHHHH** left the chat~ (10:13am)_

 

 

 **Prince** : YOU MOTHERFUCKER-

 

 

_~ **Prince** left the chat~ (10:14am)_

 

 

 **Captain** : Do none of y’all care that I’m sick and dying in the studio?

 

 

 **MinHOE** : I guess we’re all gonna get sick or something

 

 

 **Captain** : It’s 9 or none, mate

 **Captain:** See you on the flip side

 

 

_~ **Captain** left the chat~_

 

_~ **MinHOE** left the chat~_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HMU on twitter @callmebaekkk
> 
> Also plz provide me with kudos and comments about if you like my sense of humor or not bc comments and kudos feed my soul thx ily all


	6. Jeongin the Meme Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vocal King: Pinky promiseeeee~
> 
>  
> 
> Captain: Perhaps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYYYYYYOOO I'm back with another update that I highkey wrote in class bc college sucks balls and I just want this semester to be over omfg. That class in particular is 3 hours long and drains the life out of me ;-;
> 
> Aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnyyways, I hope y'all enjoy this chapter that had me trying not to laugh in class

 

_~ **Bby Maknae** , **Vocal King** , and **Captain** joined the chat~ (8:08pm)_

 

 **Bby Maknae** : Hi hyungs, I found something interesting on twitter

 

 **Vocal King** : Oooh, what’d you find, Jeongin?

 

 **Captain** : Whatever it is, I’ve probably seen it already lmao

 **Captain** : The whole fandom has figured out that I’m hidden on stan twitter and see what they’re up to XD

 

 **Bby Maknae** : I doubt you’ve seen this one hyung, I only found it because I was scrolling through the recent tweets just now under our hashtag

 **Bby Makna** e: huehuehue this is so funny I almost wheezed when I saw it

 

 **Vocal King** : You’ve peaked our interest so spill that info

 

 **Bby Maknae** : On second thought maybe I shouldn’t, oof

 **Bby Maknae** : Someone’s gonna get mad…

 

 **Captain** : JEONGIN, I SWEAR TO GOD YOU BETTER TELL US

 **Captain** : THE FACT THAT I PROBABLY HAVEN’T SEEN IT IS BOTHERING ME, I NEED TO KNOW

 

 **Vocal King** : We know where you sleep, share the tea before we hunt you down

 

 **Bby Maknae** : Of course you do???

 **Bby Maknae** : We literally live in the same house???

 **Bby Maknae** : Y’all better save me from getting mauled because I shared this

 

 **Vocal King:** Pinky promiseeeee~

 

 **Captain** : Perhaps

 

_~ **Bby Maknae** shared two images from twitter~ (8:12pm)_

**Bby Maknae** : 

 **Bby Maknae:**  

 **Bby Maknae** : A STAY compared mine and Changbin-hyung’s height difference

 

 **Vocal King:** PFFT

 **Vocal King** : I’M DEAD I JUST CHOKED ON WATER AND ENDED UP SPITTING IT ALL OVER OUR LIVING ROOM TABLE

 

 **Captain** : Changbin looks like an actual B A B Y

 **Captain:** Also hyung please clean the table because that’s disgusting lol

 

 **Vocal King** : As soon as I can breathe normally again I will lmfao

 

 **Captain** : Thank you for that quality blackmail material, Jeongin. I’ll be putting that to good use ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **Vocal King** : I just set one of the pics as his contact photo, he’s so tiny and adorable uwu

 

_~ **YOHHHH** joined the chat~ (8:15pm)_

 

 **YOHHHH** : sup guys

 

 **Bby Maknae** : !!!

 

 **Captain** : ABORT MISSION

 

 **Vocal King** : RED ALERT RED ALERT

 

 **Bby Maknae** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

_~ **Captain** removed 9 messages from the chat~ (8:16pm)_

****

**YOHHHH:**?? what’s happening?

 

 **Captain** : Don’t worry about it

 

_~ **Vocal King** shared a gif~ (8:16pm)_

 

**Vocal King:**

 

_~ **Bby Maknae** left the chat~ (8:17pm)_

_~ **Captain** left the chat~ (8:17pm)_

_~ **Vocal King** left the chat~ (8:18pm)_

 

 **YOHHHH:** …what the fuck

 **YOHHHH:** Who’s going to maul Jeongin and why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HMU with comments and kudos plz they are my lifeblood XD
> 
> Also hmu on twitter @callmebaekkk


	7. A Day in the Life of a 90s/00s Baby's Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOHHHH: I forgot I told you that...
> 
> YOHHHH: Don't expose me like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm backkk, it's been a while. I got hella busy with college but I'm almost done with my first year!  
> In addition, I'll be seeing Stray Kids again in 10 days for their Unveil concert!
> 
> This chapter was written partially in class and partially while on FaceTime with some friends discussing some unholy NCT banter XD  
> I hope you guys enjoy! I highkey relate to some of the stuff in this chapter lmao
> 
> Happy reading~

 

_~ **Jjix** , **Captain** , **YOHHHH** , and **Prince** joined the chat~ (12:37pm)_

 

 

 **Captain:** Sup bitches

 **Captain:** I've been reminiscing over childhood for the last 15 mins, anyone wanna join?

 

 

 **Jjix:** Some people in this group have never shinned themselves with a razor scooter and it really shows

 

 **Captain:** That was

 **Captain:** THE WORST PAIN IMAGINABLE

 

 **Prince:** Or what about those metal slides in the park?

 

 

 **Captain:** THE INCINERATOR

 

 

 **Jjix:** Shit used to set my asshole on fire jfc

 

 

 **Captain:** Wait, what about almost destroying your family's PC trying to download "Kiss Me Thru the Phone" from LimeWire XD

 

 

 **Jjix:** I'M FUCKIN DEAD

 **Jjix:** #growingupAussie

 

 

 **Prince:** Hold up hold up

 **Prince:** Never forget accidentally clicking on the internet on your flip phone and screaming while hitting the end button a thousand times before it charges your parents

 **Prince:** I still get nightmares of my mom running after me when she received the bill

 

 

 **YOHHHH:**????

 **YOHHHH:** I can't say I relate to that? 

 

 

 **Jjix:** We get it, mate, you're rich af

 

 

 **Captain:** Stop flexing on us -.-

 

 

 **YOHHHH:** oof my bad wasn't intentional

 

 

 **Jjix:** reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

 

 **Prince:**...strutting into school but your walkman skips?

 

 

 **Jjix:**?

 

 

 **YOHHHH:** A what? I had an ipod touch

 

 

 **Captain:** Wait, Binnie, didn't you break it trying to do a kickflip on a skateboard but you fell and landed right on it?

 

 

 **YOHHHH:** I forgot I told you that...

 **YOHHHH:** Don't expose me like this

 

 

 **Prince:** But wait real talk

 **Prince:** Trying to become a master chef with your easybake oven

 

 

 **YOHHHH:** Y E S

 

 

 **Captain:** Willing to bet y'all can't make a better cupcake than me

 

 

 **Prince:**...betting what, exactly? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

 

 

 **Captain:** Center position in our next comeback

 

 

 **Jjix:** OH, YOU'RE SO ON

 

 

 **YOHHHH:** Brb going to buy an easybake oven

 

 

_~ **Jjix** ,  **Captain** ,  **YOHHHH** , and  **Prince**  left the chat~ (12:56pm)_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what'd y'all think? I hope I made you laugh or you were able to relate to some of the childhood memories :)
> 
> Do you guys want me to actually write a chapter of Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, and Felix's easybake battle? Like, an actually written chapter instead of text format? LMK because I think it'd be really fun to write!
> 
> Feel free to hmu on twitter @callmebaekkk
> 
> Until next time~


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